MMM, that is NOT a tasty burger
Story updated 1/30/2001
The letter has arrived!

I just went to Applebees for lunch and had the worst burger that I have ever had in my life.  It was beyond terrible.  It was worse than those frozen processed burgers that come in boxes of 100 for 5 bucks.  It was so disgusting that I decided to contact Applebees directly through their website.  Actually I looked up the name of the Senior VP of Franchise Operations and decided to send it to him.  Like most companies, they don't offer those email addresses to the public so I sent it to the webmaster.  Below is the email that I sent.  I will keep you posted on any response that I get.

1/18/2001, 2:09 PM
Dear Mr. Goebel,

I apologize for not sending this email directly to your email address, but after extensive searching I couldn't find it anywhere on the Applebees website. I do hope that you receive this.

On a recent visit to the Applebees location in my hometown I had a very terrible experience, and I would like to ask you a serious question. 

Are your burgers made with real beef? 

The reason I am asking this is rather complicated. Last July I took a business trip to Beijing, China and while I was there I had a "burger" that I later discovered was made from processed dogmeat. The texture and taste of this burger was identical to the one that I had at your restaurant today. Upon first bite it was clear to me that it was far from grade A beef and even farther from fresh. I am very disappointed that I would receive a burger of such poor quality at one of your restaurants. I am concerned that perhaps your burgers are made from the same processed dogmeat as the one that I had in China. If it is in fact beef that you use then it is by far the lowest quality that I have ever had.

I would appreciate a response to my inquiry.

Before I even finished typing this I got back the generic form letter telling me that my message has been received.  In the interest of providing a complete story that is provided below.  Note the presence of a "case number."  Looks pretty serious.

Your e-mail has been received at Applebee's Guest Relations. 

We will review your feedback and be in touch!  Please keep this e-mail so you have your case number for future reference.
Your Case Number is 70005.
Thanks for contacting us.
Applebee's Guest Relations Department
1-888-592-7753

Update 1/22/2001:
I have yet to receive any response from the good folks at Applebees, so I decided to write a follow-up email.  I have included it below.  Hopefully this will get them to take me seriously.

To whom it may concern,

Case Number 70005

I am feeling rather disturbed by the lack of response that I have gotten to my inquiry. Last Friday I completed your guest relations feedback form and I am yet to receive any kind of response other than the generic form letter that informed me of your "commitment" to great service. Is it just me or doesn't great service include taking the time to reply?

I have enclosed my original message below. Please take the time to respond as I am very concerned about this.

Update 1/25/2001:
Still no response from Applebees, so I decided that it was time to start making idle threats.  I have enclosed the third installment of my love letters below.

RE: Case Number 70005

To whom it may concern,

This is my third and final attempt to get a response from you regarding my letter of concern. If I do not receive a response by next week then I will be placing my 3 letters into the local newspaper where restaurant #6714 is located. I do not appreciate being mocked by form letters claiming that you are concerned when you obviously are not. In a time where customer service is becoming increasingly difficult to find you had a chance to shine through where most others have failed. I have included my original letter below in case you misplaced the first two.

Update 1/28/2001:
Note to self:  Idle threats seem to get results, at least with restaurant chains.  I have received an email response from Applebees and I am posting that below.  Note how she tries to blame the lack of response on me for not providing a phone number.  I did provide an email address, which is a free and easy way to contact me.  I guess that they would have preferred to pay long distance charges.

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your email. We apologize for any delay in response. However, we sent a letter to you on 1/22/02 explaining how your comments were being followed up on. We would have called, but you did not provide a phone number.

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

Laurie Douglas
Guest Relations Coordinator
888-592-7753
www.applebees.com
Ref # 70005

Update 1/30/2001:
I received my wonderful letter of explanation from Applebees, and I felt that I should share it with you. After reading it I am actually more concerned than I was before.  Apparently they have a "research and development team."  That seems like something that should be part of a nuclear testing lab, not a restaurant.  Apparently my shitty burger was the result of a science experiment gone wrong.  Very wrong.  At any rate they sent me a gift certificate for ten bucks, so I will probably go again.  After all, who am I to pass up free food, even if it is made in a test tube?  Read the letter here.

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