Crisis in Donutland

Tragedy struck earlier this morning in the sleepy town of Appomattox, Virginia.  According to early reports the Donutland on Elm Street ran out of Maple Frosted at approximately 7:48 am this morning.  

Appomattox, a town that is generally known for it's Pumpkin Festival, was not prepared for this type of horror.  In the words of local resident Zeke Cousinbanger, "This sort o' thing just don't happen in Appomattox."  This type of reaction is understandable in this little town with a population of 1,707.  

All available law enforcement units responded to the scene with blazing speed, apparently setting new records for response time in the process.  Police Seargant Iam Boredas-hell would not comment, although he was visibly shaken by the tragedy.

Donut officials have not yet provided us with information regarding when the crisis situation may be corrected, although we have been told that a massive maple-sugar fundraising effort is currently underway in the state of Vermont.  In a public news conference Appomattox mayor Ronald T. Spiggle was quoted as saying " We appreciate the way that our fellow Americans are coming together to help us in our time of need.  I assure you that all 1,707 residents of Appomattox would gladly give something back."  He then later offered his rusty 1964 Ford pickup truck as a gesture of his goodwill.  Several Vermont residents showed an interest.

For more information on the town/county of Appomattox please visit their website.

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