Reflections on France's Military History
compiled by Heferito

David Letterman: France wants more evidence [of Iraqi violations]. The last time France wanted more evidence, it rolled right through France with a German flag.

Dennis Miller: The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

Jay Leno: I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!

Rep. Roy Blunt, R-Mo.: Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried.

Blunt again: Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day-the description was: 'Never shot. Dropped once.'

And even an unwitting French President Jacques Chirac: "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."

Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in World War II? And that's because it was raining, said John Xereas, manager of the DC Improv.

According to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld: Going to war without the French is like going deer hunting without your accordion.

And my favorite: Do you know why the French have so many trees planted along their boulevards?
Because the Germans like to march in the shade.