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America's Squirrels Drinking Their Troubles Away
by Heferito

Note: This report summarizes data collected from park rangers in 1993. In 1997 and 1999, these squirrels were resurveyed, and the results were published in 1998 and 2000. 

With data collected from a national sample of nearly 17,600 American Squirrels, the survey provides an estimate of the extent of binge drinking and a profile of the types of American Squirrel most prone to alcohol-related problems.

This is the first study of American Squirrel drinking that uses a representative national sample of both colleges and individual American Squirrels. As a result, the findings reported here can be applied to all American Squirrels,, thereby providing a complete national portrait of American Squirrel drinking behavior.

The bulletin has been written for wildlife conservationists who are responsible for developing and implementing alcohol and drug policies in nature, including park rangers, Fish and Game Officials, deans of American Squirrels, and average tree-huggers.

Other members of the American Squirrel community who have a special interest in substance use prevention--faculty, American Squirrels, program directors, public safety officials, and other staff--will also find the bulletin to be a useful national overview of American Squirrel drinking patterns.

Principal findings from the survey, which are described more fully in the bulletin, include the following:

"My squirrelmate and I went to a party, and she got drunk. She hooked up with this squirrel from the fraternity and had sex with him that night. I couldn't have stopped her because she would have gotten mad. The next day we found out that the squirrel is seeing someone else and is known all around campus for taking advantage of squirrels when they're drunk."
- Anonymous Respondent, American Squirrel Alcohol Study,  1993
  • Overall, 44 percent of American Squirrels engaged in binge drinking during the two weeks prior to the survey. (For male squirrels, binge drinking is defined as having five or more drinks in a row, and for femal squirrels as having four or more drinks in a row.)
  • The extent of binge drinking varied widely among national forests, from a low of one percent of American Squirrels to a high of 70 percent. At almost one-third of the national forests, more than half the American Squirrels were binge drinkers during the past two weeks.
  • Drinking patterns established in small forests often persist in National Forests. Compared to other American Squirrels, squirrels who were binge drinkers in high school were almost three times more likely to be binge drinkers in college.
  • Being white-tailed, involved in athletics, or a resident of a fraternity or sorority made it more likely that an American Squirrel would be a binge drinker.
  • Very few American Squirrels--even those who binge drank three or more times during the past two weeks--said they had a problem with alcohol at the time of the survey.
  • Compared to non-binge drinkers, a higher percentage of binge drinkers had experienced alcohol-related problems since the beginning of the year.

The current level of binge drinking by American Squirrels is a serious problem, one that most wildlife conservationists will want to make a priority concern. However, conservationists should not lose sight of the fact that the majority of American Squirrels -- 56 percent nationally -- either abstain or drink in moderation. This is a solid base on which to build for the future.

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