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The late model Jetta
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The Jed Clampett Car
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think that the 1 foot high aluminum spoiler on this late model
Jetta speaks for itself. If you see this guy be sure to give
him a thumbs up as he drives buy so that he knows he's cool.
UPDATE 4/25/03 - This car is now sitting totaled in the front yard
of the owner. I guess that having a rear spoiler on a
front-wheel drive car doesn't help with handling after all.
Bummer.
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Well
this car is far from riced out, but it's still funny. I think was stolen from the
set of The Beverly Hillbillies. You can't tell from
this picture, but it was blowing nasty smoke the whole time.
The authentic rust colored paint job is exquisite. Oh wait,
that was real rust. I am not afraid to admit that I would
take this car over the Hyundai any day. UPDATE - My friend Jean
has informed me that this is a 1927 Packard...thanks Jean! |
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The Late Model Honda
Civic CRX |
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where do I begin with this Franken-Civic? Talk about a beast
that should have been killed before it was born! Does ANYONE
(seriously, I mean anyone...) think that white ground
effects and bumper on a blue car looks good? At first I
thought that he was just waiting to paint it, but it's been this
way for ALMOST 2 YEARS! I am willing to
bet that the person who drives this actually laughs when they see
a redneck in a primer-painted IROC driving by... At least that was
painted all one color! Next up we have the non-matching
wheels. If you look closely you will notice that the front
wheel has a hub cap while the rear wheel has a rim. Some
actual performance cars do this on purpose, so I guess he's trying
to trick us. There are also "Type-R"
stickers on the car despite the fact that no such models were ever
produced. |
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The Eagle Talon |
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can tell by the sticker "get over it" on the windshield
that this guy or gal knew what I was thinking when I first laid
eyes upon this monstrosity. Nice spoiler and partial hood
bra. This past winter I saw this car stuck on a frost heave. |
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The Nissan Altima |
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Above Altima has a classic case of identity crisis. It
seems to think that it's a special "type GT-R" Altima.
Too bad there is no such thing. Also direct your attention
to the 3 inch muffler and (holy friggin' ridiculous) fire
extinguisher! That's right, a fire extinguisher! Those
fake GT-R emblems must REALLY speed the car up if he needs one of
those! |
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The Toyota Paseo |
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Paseo thinks it's a classic muscle car. The 17 inch wheels
and fakey forced air hood scoop must really boost the performance
of the 4 cylinder 1.5 litre engine that comes in ALL Paseos.
And let's not forget the mandatory 3 inch exhaust. This car
is featured in one of my Ecards! Send
it to a friend... |
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The Mazda Protege
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Another Mazda
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Now
this is a performance machine! Notice the 3 inch muffler
pipe and performance sticker on the back window! I watched a
kid on a tricycle beat this guy in a race. Sounds like an
angry bumblebee when he drives by. bad-ass!
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Another
High-Performance Mazda! This one has a gigantic MAZDA
sticker on the rear window which adds at least 25 HP. Be
sure to check out the cow-catcher that has been mounted on the
trunk!
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Honda Accord
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| Accord.
The name strikes fear in us all. Especially when it's
written in a bad-ass font on the rear windshield. Be sure to
note the dual exhaust pipes coming out from the back as
well. Anytime you put the name of your car somewhere,
especially written in a cool font, you get +25 horsepower.
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