Taco Bell's New Chicken Quesadilla is Quesa-Crappy
Editorial by Heferito

I had been building for this moment for days... It was supposed to be the high point of my day.  Ok, maybe not THE high point, but a solid second place.  The desire to have it has been unbearable.  The constant media onslaught has done nothing but remind me of my burning need.  I am speaking of course about the new Chicken Quesadilla from Taco Bell.  Have you seen the commercial?  Looks fantastic, doesn't it?  Well DO NOT believe the lies.

Do you like tender marinated all white meat chicken?  Grilled tortillas?  Three kinds of cheese?  So do I.  Unfortunately what I got was cold catfood covered with shredded splinters of army cheese served in a folded piece of round soggy cardboard.  Sound appetizing?  I assure you that it was nothing less than crappy.  Oh, did I forget to mention the odd mayonnaise sauce that drowned out all of the potential of good taste?  I am not joking, but I can't possibly describe to you how badly that I wish I was.  The quesadilla had a sauce on it that was nothing more than mayonnaise mixed with salsa.  I've seen better-looking sauces on dirty bedsheets that desperately need to be washed after a wild and crazy night of passion.  Go ahead and click on the photo if you want to read the nutrition info.

Another important factor to remember is the time I lost that I can never have back.  I travelled approximately half an hour each way to the nearest Taco Bell just so that I could try "a whole new level of flavor."  Well I've got to give them credit, the slogan is true, and I'm a big fan of truth in advertising.  I've never tasted anything quite like it.  Unfortunately that's one hour of my life that I can never have back.  I could have spent that time doing something constructive such as clipping my fingernails or making photocopies of my ass.  The only redeeming factor about this trip is that there was a Wal-Mart across the street where I was able to purchase an ice scraper for my car.  $1.99, what a steal.

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