Virus Warning!
 
Warning: If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately.
Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your
credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on
your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt
to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 900 numbers and
give your phone number to 1000 telemarketers. This virus will also mix
antifreeze into your fish tank and poison your pets.  Then it will drink ALL
your beer.  
FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?! ! ! ! It will leave dirty underwear on
the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your
shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your
current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous
to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors or sharp sticks
and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It
will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive
tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the
interpretations of key sentences.
 
If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously
close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from
your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole
milk.
 
**WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN **
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll fart so hard
that your right leg will spasm, shoot straight out in front of you, sending
sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send to everyone ..... In case you are a blonde, this is a joke.