Yardwork
Vs. Sex
by Heferito
Yardwork Vs. Sex you
say? Is there a comparison? Is this question even worth
asking? I myself agree with you that the answer is absolutely
positively NO. No contest. Sex wins. Anytime. Anyplace.
Yardwork, on the other hand, takes some convincing. Maybe if
somebody offered me sex to do yardwork then I would consider it, but that
only proves my point even more.
SO by now you must
be asking yourself "What, if anything, is he getting at with this,
does he have a point?" My point is simple - Something is
seriously wrong in this country. I read a headline today that almost
made me fall out of my chair. The headline states that according to
a poll among home enthusiasts, "Yard Work Better Than
Sex." Could they possibly be "fucking" serious?
One of the
conclusions that I reach after reading this
article is that people must not know how to have sex. Perhaps
they don't realize that there is more to it than "insert tab A into
slot B." You are not putting together a Testors 1958 Studebaker
model kit. I am not trying to sound like the master of the universe
or anything, but talk about having a shitty ass lover! Never once in
the middle of a midnight romp have I caught myself thinking "I would
rather be raking." If that ever does happen then I am going to
check myself in somewhere that has nice comfy padded walls.
For the benefit of
anyone reading this who actually AGREES with the article, I have provided
some sex basics as a sort of refresher for you below. You will have
to figure out the rest on your own, but this should be enough to get you
started.
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How
do you have sexual Intercourse?
Sexual intercourse is
sometimes called making love, having sex, fucking or having a
shag. It is when a boy's hard penis goes inside a girl's vagina.
If a boy and girl are having sexual intercourse, then using a
contraceptive properly, every time, will prevent the girl becoming
pregnant.
If two people having sexual
intercourse, and one of them has a sexual infection they could
pass it on the other person. These infections are sometimes called
sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or diseases (STDs). Using a
condom will prevent any infection from being passed from one
person to the other
Sexual intercourse between a
boy and a girl starts with them both getting sexually excited.
This is sometimes referred to as foreplay, and might involve
kissing and cuddling, touching each other and other sexual
activities. Foreplay is important as it means a girl's vagina
begins to get moist and a boy gets an erection. If the girl's
vagina does not get moist enough, then having sexual intercourse
could be difficult or painful for the girl.
If a couple are going to use
a condom for protection against pregnancy or infections, they
should put it on the boy's penis as soon as he gets an erection.
Some boys say they worry about using condoms in case they lose
their erection or have difficulty putting the condom on. You could
get some condoms and practice beforehand. Condoms come with
instructions in words and pictures which show exactly how to use
them.
After the condom is on, the
boy or girl can guide his penis into her vagina. The couple then
move their bodies so that his penis moves up and down inside her
vagina. This usually rubs the penis and makes the boy sexually
excited so that he has an orgasm. The movement might rub the
girl's clitoris too so she can have an orgasm. But this depends on
the position the couple are in when they have sexual intercourse.
There are quite a lot of
different positions for sexual intercourse. One common way is for
the girl and boy to be laying down, face to face with either the
girl or boy on their back. If the boy is lying on top this is
often referred to as the missionary position. Another way is for
the girl and boy to lay on their sides with the boy behind the
girl. If the boy is behind the girl the penis might not rub her
clitoris and the girl or boy can do this with their fingers.
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Well
that about covers this news topic, I hope that you found the above bit
educational. I also hope that I never have to read such a terribly
depressing headline again. In case you are interested you can read
the original article here.
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